It was early morning when the monsters came: slaveholders of the southern lands, had come to capture her and her people.They tore her from her home while she was still asleep and threw her with others on the cage-wagon.The sun was high in the sky for the second time since they had captured her,when they came to the gates of the capital.All her people were put on display and sold like cattle, because the giants ate those of her race.A woman bought her and other ten.... and once at home the massacre began.They had been skinned alive one by one, left to agonize until everyone had suffered the same fate, then cut to pieces (she was the last one) and thrown in hot oil."Hooray, French fries!" - shouted the son of the giants who had just returned home, and the horrid feast began.
Ma non ha approfittato della versione italiana?
Perhaps it's your style, but I'm put off by the odd spacing of the words. Personally, it makes writing weaker, not creepier.
Overall, a smart story. Perhaps the juxtaposition could be twisted even more to make it truly funny - Honestly, I didn't even blink, never mind smile.
But that's not constructive!
.M
Could you explain me what do you mean when you say:
"Perhaps it's your style, but I'm put off by the odd spacing of the words. Personally, it makes writing weaker, not creepier." ?
Are you talking about the physical space between the words?
And what could you suggest to improve the writings in this sense?
Thank you so much for your past and future constructive comments (even if you were too lazy to write 3 times 'applause'... Lol),
I mean,when you type like this.it puts me off when things are typed like this. Yes,physical typing.
Space words normally. Simple.
.M